Hello guys. I'm not sure where else to post this so I'll post here.
I (19M) am 5'5. I think I am relatively good looking besides that and disciplined, with a lot going on for me career wise at 19 (good school, upcoming internship, extracurriculars etc.). Because of my height though, I never ask out any girls even if I like them. I never even talk to them, but I don't talk to most people unprompted anyway. For romantic purposes though, I never ask women out / "put myself out there" because of my height.
I know all the typical arguments or whatever, I get it. I have a hard time trusting women who say they would date a hypothetical short guy since they never seem to do so actually when an opportunity presents itself, which I why I put this tag as venting. I understand its a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I am so utterly convinced I will be rejected regardless of whatever "method" I use, that the prophecy would be fulfilled regardless. Apps (>90% of women filter me out by height), cold approaches (almost 100% rejection rate anyway), friends ("you know her very well" + a bit dishonest to enter a friendship with the goal of romance). I've only really "asked out" one person when I was 15 online but never again. Also, I understand I am young. That doesn't change anything. I will most likely be 5'5 for the rest of my life, and height preferences remain pretty strong in women regardless of age. I would also like to be chosen for myself and not "settled" for, which seems to be my fate at my height.
Anyways, this has gotten really strong recently, maybe because springtime for me brings more thoughts of romance or whatever. But the loop remains the same, and it's a loop that protects me. I see a cute girl I might want to know better before reality checks in that I am way too short for her. And I get it, women are not a universal being with entirely aligned preferences, but statistically my claim is correct. I am most likely too short for her preferences. Couple this with the "male loneliness epidemic" (hate that phrase) where much taller men then me are struggling in dating. A fortiori, how much more will I struggle?
I want to make expressly clear I do not hate or dislike women because of this. I kind of just treat it as a math problem deduced from statistics, apps, anecdotes, what women say online and irl, etc. I guess I'm not really asking for anything, just venting and wondering if anyone else feels the same.
This honestly gets so strong that in a lot of cases I'm not even attracted to women I would've found beautiful anymore. Marriage and children are becoming less and less of a priority, and they are not being replaced by anything. The certainty of rejection if I were to try anything is strong that it overwhelms my system. Not anxiously, just protectively. And honestly, I want that because I think it is true. I genuinely believe with every bone in my body if I were to ask that person, friend, stranger, whoever, out on a date respectfully and cordially, that I would be rejected for my height. From time to time I'll freak out about it in my mind, which is kinda rough, but honestly not as rough as it would be to deal with so much rejection that would happen anyway. Also, how will I know the girl won't just be completely mean in rejecting me, or worse and film the interaction or something? I know its anxiety speaking here, but even when I'm not actively anxious I feel this way.
Is there anyone else that feels like this?
